This post was originally published back in 2014 when we had been married 21 years. Yesterday however, marked our 24th wedding anniversary. It was a simple celebration at home with one of our kiddos. As important as anniversaries are, we consider ever day together to be a gift.
Life is not always easy, in fact, life is hard. But I would not want to do this life without my man (commonly known here at Saving 4 Six as “My Better Half).
Several years ago when I first wrote this post I thought back on the years of good times and bad and considered things that I have learned that have bettered our marriage. Now, don’t get me wrong, I fail miserably often, but I keep striving to be the wife I’ve been called to be and that’s what this post is about. Ten ways I love on my husband, now after 24 years.
First published Feb 9, 2014
“This month my husband and I will celebrate 21 years of marriage.
They have been precious years and continue to get more special as the days go by. Now, if you are a regular reader of Saving4Six, you may be wondering what this has to do with the typical content of my blog. Well, if you need justification… This is about Saving…saving my marriage.
I’m going to share with you ten ways that I love on my husband and I hope these will inspire you with some ways you can better love on your man.
1. I stop what I’m doing the minute he walks in the door to go and kiss him tenderly.
Now, you may say, “this is corny” or “I’m busy” or whatever, but this is what I do. I want my man to know that at that very moment, he is most important to me. The screaming kids, the boiling pot, the blog (cough, cough), can all wait. This is his moment. Now, I try not to just give him a peck but I lay one on him… welcome the man home…he may very well have had a harder day than me.
2. I iron and lay out his clothes.
This is not something I do regularly. I am however, trying to get into the practice. My husband has a hard time picking out clothes…he just does. It may sound crazy, but it causes him stress. So, if I have time or make it a priority, I pick out and iron his clothes for the week and hang them, ready to wear. This thrills his heart. I really should make an effort to do this more.
3. I sit and visit with him while he works.
We have three cars with over 100,000 miles on them. Consequently, my husband spends a lot of time out in the garage working on cars. Some weekends, that is all he does. Many years ago, I learned that instead of complaining that my husband is always outside or working in the garage, I could simply go out with him. On weekends that my man is out in the garage, you will often find me sitting on a tool box, keeping him company. Sure, there are other things I could be doing, but if I want to be with my man, I might as well make the effort myself. I will offer to help with whatever he’s working on, but sometimes it’s just my company he wants.
4. I make our bedroom a refuge.
For many years, our bedroom was a kid-free zone…off limits to the kiddos. Since My Princess has started having seizures, this practice has changed for her, but we would eventually like to get back to the no kids allowed policy.
We enjoy decorating our room the way we like, and love having pictures of just the two of us and adventures we have had together. I’ve shared some pictures and our love-letter wall before, you can see the post about that here.
We have added dimmer switches to all the lights in our room and added a heated mattress pad and some other luxury items that are conducive to bedroom activity. Speaking of which…
5. I make an effort to be uninhibited.
I have had four children and my body reflects those results. I have stretch marks, rolls, and many of my parts are not at the same elevation they were 20 years ago. BUT, my husband doesn’t care!!! I’m the one that has the issues with it… what’s wrong with that picture!!?? I have learned over the years that when the bedroom door is closed, I am the most beautiful woman in the world to my husband, regardless of what I really look like. It has helped for me to realize that, and to just embrace the fact that he thinks I am beautiful. So, my point is…forget what you look like and have fun. (ok, I’m gonna stop there because my kids read my blog and well, I’m sure you get the idea…)
6. I don’t expect my husband to read my mind.
I used to get really upset with my man when he didn’t know what I wanted or what I was thinking, duh! What was I thinking? HE IS NOT A MIND READER!! So, I’ve decided, that instead of being disappointed all the time by his lack of mind reading skills, to just tell him what I want or do not want. Rocket science, I know! But seriously ladies, the romanticism gets lost more often by our disappointment in our men not being able to read our mind, when it could have been salvaged by us just telling him what we want.
7. I play with my husband.
Fishing, shooting, flying, napping, eating out, and tennis are LOW on my list of things I enjoy. They are however, at the top of my husband’s favorite list. Consequently, I do them and we have made some amazing memories together doing many of these. We have a lot of fun together whether it’s doing one of his favorite things or one of mine.
It can be so easy to get wrapped up in the busyness of life that play-time is done away with. We’ve had many times in our lives where we forgot to “play” and had to make an effort to do it again. I’m glad we have.
8. I date my husband.
Dating my man has been a growing joy. I crave it more and more as the years go by. When the kids were little, we didn’t go out much, for one reason or another (lack of baby sitter, lack of funds, lack of energy…). Now, however, my perception of the need has changed and I think we need a date night every week. I love being alone with my man. Being able to carry on a conversation with him, without interruption is priceless. Because dating can often be expensive, let me tell you that often our dates don’t take us further than our bedroom. Sneaking away for a bed date is one of my favorite kinds of dates. We will often get the kids situated with dinner and we will head upstairs to watch a movie, give each other massages, talk and listen, or whatever.
We do occasionally go out to dinner, a movie, or for a fun evening on the town, but don’t let a lack of funds prevent you from dating your man. It is so very important. If you’re looking for some date ideas, my man came up with this Menu of Date Night Ideas.
9. I work with my husband.
My man goes off to work everyday by himself and I work here at home, but when it comes to projects around the house, we work together. I remember when we first started working on our house almost 20 years ago. We started with the kitchen. My man handed me a sledge hammer to start tearing out the counter top and I almost fell over… he wanted me to do this kind of manual labor?? I’m so glad he did! We have had some major fights while working together. Quite honestly, when we did our most recent kitchen transformation, I wondered if our marriage would survive… it was THAT bad.
Now, why would I tell you to work together if it causes fights? Well, it can also teach you many valuable lessons… how to work together, cooperation, dying to self, appreciation of the other’s talents, patience with the other’s short-comings, and much more. Plus, making up can be a lot of fun. (wink, wink)
10. I worship God with my husband.
This life is full of things to worship. Worshiping self, each other, and things can get in the way of worshiping the giver of life and perfect example of love…Jesus. Although we are often sucked into worshiping things that are not meant to be worshiped, we choose together to worship God. This is more than a Sunday morning event. This is a moment by moment commitment, that “For me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
So, I challenge you to love your man and love on your man. Demonstrate your love practically on a regular basis. Not just when you feel like it but especially when you don’t feel like it.
I bet you all have some loving things you do for your husbands…share ’em in the comments. I’d love to hear them and put them into practice!”
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green bay packers says
Just found and read this…. you are so correct in all of it. We just celebrated 42 years. We are now retired and spend all our time together. We have actually been told that they never see one without the other. We still have dates, still laugh and have fun and are best friends. It doesn’t get any better than that.
Keep up the good work. It is so worth it. Joni